As already noted, Joseph Smith entered into plural marriage before the Nauvoo period. Most of these people, however, are just trying to find a way to react to something that is so contrary to accepted marriage patterns. Obviously, those who converted later in life did not have family who could explain the background of the doctrine and practice. WebBecause of the beliefs that (1) celestial marriage is required for exaltation, and (2) that Jesus is exalted, some leaders of the LDS Church have hypothesized that Jesus must have been married, possibly to Mary Magdalene, Mary, sister 9. But this experience also had a profound effect on Elder Cook and "any doubts he had were swept away forever.". Plural marriage has proven to be a prime weapon because a little of the truth can be devastating. 46. Broadcasts Video Images Music Podcasts and Radio. Our teenage youth need to know about plural marriage, including the fact that Joseph Smith, by commandment of God, introduced the doctrine and practice of the plurality of wives. 12. Participants were asked to rank from 1 to 7 the support they felt from various Church-related groups (1 being not at all supportive and 7 being very supportive). This will help you examine your own behavior and see things more accurately. 30. If the Lord chooses a divorced man to be bishop, that man will be bishop. Sister Wives follows the large family of Kody Brown and his four wives. Many others had a different reason for their change in calling. Dont judge; be supportive., [Give me] spiritual support. Again, in 1952, President Uchtdorf's father opposed the communist East Germany, and it was no longer safe for his family to remain at their home in Zwickau. This is particularly true if they have been faithful in Church activity and have prayed fervently for a resolution to marital problems. I know they're on there, cause i've done it before. In 1998, the late LDS president Gordon B. Hinckley proclaimed, I wish to state categorically that this Church has nothing whatever to do with those practicing polygamy. Be patient and reach out yourself. Foster, Like Two Crazy Aunts in the Attic.. There was not, however, any mention of Brigham Youngs plural marriages. However, Elder Oaks says, through "the blessings of the Lord, she did recover and she was stronger than ever"(Elder Dallin H. Oaks, "LDS Leaders and Mental Illness," Mormon Channel). Within each group, frequent church attenders are less likely to have been divorced. Married or widowed are okay. Was the Apostle Paul married? When I suggested to a volunteer at Church Hosting that we take the guests to the Beehive House, she immediately said, Oh you dont want to do that., I asked why not and she gave a nervous laugh and said, Well, you know., She gave another nervous laugh and repeated, You know. She continued, They might ask questions.. Jana Riess, My Polygamous Heaven . Scott D. Pierce, More Often Than Not, Big Love Gets it Right, The Salt Lake Tribune, December 28, 2010, accessed April 10, 2014, http://archive.sltrib.com/article.php?id=12564307&itype=storyID. That healing power and that hope are there for them and also for their children.. On a positive note, the LDS Church has recently taken a more active approach to interpreting and defining its polygamous past. Copy in possession of the author. Feelings About Plural Marriage. Over 230 of the respondents were born in Utah or the western United States. Of his parents, Elder Cook would later say they "loved the Savior. I was sad to see that ward members and [ministering brothers and sisters] were so far down on the list of where support comes from, he says. And, like plural marriage itself, they are not going away.68. "He responded lovingly but firmly each time I pestered him: 'David, I am not going to join the Church for your mother, for you, or for anyone else. At the age of 11, President Uchtdorf watched as his family split up, each taking separate routes to Frankfurt until only he and his mother remained. In many ways, Fundamentalist Mormons are like Latter-day Saints former relativesex-uncles or crazy former cousins who cause embarrassment and discomfort, for they remind us of a married past we would rather forget. Ok, just confirmed. As she tried to cope with the loss of her sister, Christy Denney found the connection to family she was craving in an unusual placea cherry cheese pie. Another source providing good answers and positive information regarding Joseph Smiths polyandrous marriages is Joseph Smith and Polyandry, FairMormon Answers, accessed February 22, 2014, http://en.fairmormon.org/Joseph_Smith/Polygamy/Polyandry. 38. Gordon B. Hinckley, What Are People Asking About Us? Ensign (November 1998): 70. 68. I thought everyone knew that., I replied, They dont all have parents like you do. As with every gospel principle, the foundation needs to be laid in their childhood and then built upon in their youth with more information about the faith and sacrifices practicing plural marriage necessitated among the Saints, as well as the reasons for ending the practice. The only safe path through a divorce is to remain true to the gospel. . 7. Hopefully these suggestions will help those who are troubled or discomforted about the Churchs legacy of plural marriage. In their examination of the divorce rate within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, using both civil and temple marriages combined, McClendon and Chadwick (2005) estimated that the current lifetime divorce rate for returned-missionary men to be approximately 12% and for returned-missionary women around 16%. I would think not.60, Not surprisingly, the ambivalence among even active, faithful Latter-day Saints regarding plural marriage continues. Elders Bednar, Cook + 3 Other Apostles Whose Family pete22, LDS apostles I asked my husband. Church leaders were instructed to read the letter in LDS sacrament meetings. Im a Mormon, I know it, I live it and I love it. For the very first time, I am seeing outright no in response to will there be celestial polygamy. WebIn their examination of the divorce rate within The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, using both civil and temple marriages combined, McClendon and Chadwick Such an approach was expressed by this man I counseled: I still have a hard time grasping the concept that Im a divorced man, but I am. I felt like I was contagious, and I think that they thought I was!, Church is a family-orientated organization, and when your family splits, it is difficult to find your place., A simple smile or hello . Would a menace make a good Bishop? ok now i am confused can you be one of the twelve apostles if you have been divorced does it matter if you remarried, has there been any of the twelve apostles that have been divorced or could you be one of the twelve apostles if you have been divorced i want to make sure i am not misrepresenting the LDS position. Teenage wives. For example, they wanted to focus on home life or to take care of children. The sister missionary was giving the tour to what appeared to be a non-member family and me. Luckily, President Uchtdorf's mother was able to locate the train and her children in the large train station. a link to what.that shows all 12 are married to their spouse??? January 10, 2009 in LDS Gospel Discussion. i was having a discussion with a friend and he said one of the 12 apostles of the LDS church had been divorced, i told him from what i know about the LDS church i did not think that was true but not being a member of the LDS i would try to find out if that was true, can anyone confirm or deny this ? Joseph Smiths marriages to teenagers have increasingly become a stumbling block to faithful members. At the time, Elder Cook's father was a less-active member and thought Elder Cook's older brother, Joe, should pursue a career in the medical field instead of serving a mission. 3. E-mail correspondence between [anonymous] and Craig L. Foster, August 11, 2011. I did know one who was released when he and his wife were separated. But, on the other hand, the Church and its members will never be able to divorce themselves from historical plural marriage. Clement is the only Father who reports that Paul was married; many of them expressly deny it; e.g. In spite of their migration out of the mainstream Church, discomfort within the Church persisted and intensified over time. Hales expands this argument about Joseph Smiths polyandrous marriages in his three volume work titled, Joseph Smiths Polygamy (Salt Lake City, Utah: Greg Kofford Books, 2013). Learn more at joshlockhart.blogspot.ca. What can Latter-day Saints do to be more supportive of divorced members? Can a man who is divorced and/or remarried be an elder? Beyond an overall dislike for plural marriage expressed by those who had negative views, there were several factors that seemed to particularly distress them. Therefore, leadership at different levels could decide what and where to teach its members, as well as who might be the most knowledgeable and able to teach such sensitive matters.66. Ironically, Mary Elizabeth Rollins, who was mentioned above, was 16 when she married Adam Lightner, and yet critics have not condemned Lightner for marrying a teenager when he was 25. For example, television talk show host Bill Maher explained that Mormonism is a religion founded on the idea of polygamy. The Salt Lake Tribune reviewed the party affiliation of all 15 apostles for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints including the three-member First LDS Elder Scott's father, who was not a member at the time, was particularly fond of his 2-year-old grandson and was heartbroken at his passing. NEW POLICY ANNOUNCED FOR DIVORCED LDS Not surprisingly, many members have believed these unfortunate and mostly false accusations and stereotyping, in no small part because some historians have repeated and embraced them uncritically.8, Joseph Smiths involvement in so-called polyandrous marriages added to the image of him as a man with unbridled lust. Newell G. Bringhurst and John C. Hamer (Independence, Missouri: John Whitmer Books, 2007): 290314. Approximately 20 percent of the Catholic men and 23 percent of the women have been divorced. How to Explain Polyandry to the Church Membership, e-mail correspondence, July 14, 2011. It is television shows and books like these that confuse non-Mormons. Just do your best. In other words, you cannot be a bishop without the approval of the First Presidency. Interpreter Foundation is not owned, controlled by or affiliated with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 5. One female survey respondent commented, I dont feel a need to defend the original practice, and I dont think it is an eternal principle. Jeffs, in a way, is practicing what Joseph practiced. Converts reactions varied, and for some the concept was difficult to accept. The depth of dismay occurs in part because of the negative publicity attending Warren Jeffss marriages to under-aged brides as well as modernitys changed concept of childhood and adulthood. 45. But unfortunately, this would not be the last time President Uchtdorf's family would have to leave behind everything. The book discusses women and divorce, men and divorce, children and divorce, dating again, blended families, remarriage, marriage counseling, and so on. Jesus' Marriage to Mary the Magdalene Is Fact My goal now is to do all I can to remain faithful to Christ, build a strong new marriage, and be as good a model to my children and stepchildren as I can.. I am not sure that those that faithfully practiced it many years ago would be with that conclusiondo you? Ponder what kind of support you have been, are, and can be to those you know in the Church who have experienced or are experiencing a divorce. All of us know someone who has been divorced. let's clarify; A divorced and remarried man can be bishop. For some, it has been too much. One guy from Japan ordered 5,000 of them for resale.20 Another alcoholic beverage company banking on the polygamy image is Five Wives Vodka, an Ogden, Utah distillery whose suggestive label displays five women in old-fashioned nightgowns.21. Almost any discussion of the subject seems to be discouraged through a lack of mention in the manuals and public presentations. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf was just 4 years old the first time his family fled their home, leaving everything behind. 2023 The Interpreter Foundation. As the two started dating, Jeanene told Elder Scott, When I marry, it will be in the temple to a returned missionary.. What handbook are you referring to? Church policy, however, does have a preference to married men as bishops. 22. For some of our youth, the shock is too traumatic for their tender testimonies. Meet the Apostles Plural marriage did not start nor end abruptly. 65. lds Gains have been made since the days I observed palpable discomfort in missionaries and volunteers. WebOn their own initiative, some couples separated or divorced as a result of the Manifesto; other husbands stopped cohabiting with all but one of their wives but continued to provide financial and emotional support to all dependents. 44. However, unless there is potential for abuse or other harmful interaction, children do best when they maintain relationships with both parents. E-mail correspondence, August 11, 2011. His first plural wife was Fanny Alger in 18351836 as explained by Bradley, Fanny Alger, in The Persistence of Polygamy, 1458. In a 2012 e-mail discussion between fellow Latter-day Saints about Joseph Smith and polyandry, one member wrote, There really is a chance that these married women might have been just as interested in the prurient side of this as Joseph Smith.61 [Page 68]Another later agreed that polyandry, no matter how you try to present it, is weird. 11. The Polygamy Porter T-shirts are our best seller, the owner explained. and continued to pray that one day his father would be baptized and his family would be sealed in the temple. Claire, e-mail correspondence, October 4, 2011. True, many non-Mormons and even some members nervouslyor insensitivelyjoke about the plethora of plural wives in a suggestive way. Nevertheless, it remains a problem that is extremely difficult for some members to reconcile and even some of the most faithful Latter-day Saints remain troubled by it. I know of no specific policy that forbids a divorced and remarried man from serving in any leadership capacity. The shows first season was set in Utah Valley until the Utah County police began to investigate the family. Sam Finley, Duck Football: From One Mission to Another, Eugene Daily News, September 16, 2011, accessed September 16, 2011, http://eugenedailynews.com/2011/09/16/duck-football-from-one-mission-to-another. DallinH. Oaks, Divorce, Ensign, May 2007, 70. We know that some look back on their divorces with regret at their own partial or predominant fault in the breakup. Elder David S. Baxter, a general authority of the Seventy, found the gospel at a critical time in his life. If you are divorced, here are some ways to stay close to your children and strong in the gospel. DieterF. Uchtdorf, The Merciful Obtain Mercy, Ensign, May 2012, 77. Even if the situation is uncomfortable or you dont know how to react, love them. "When she tried to find the train, the train was gone with her four children in there.". Lets dive into the New Testament and see what we can learn about the efforts of the original apostles to maintain a full quorum. One woman got an angry look on her face and exclaimed, He did not! As one historian explained regarding the 20th-century Churchs approach to plural marriage: [Page 54]As time passed, fewer and fewer Mormons came to identify personally with polygamy. When children spend most of their time with their mother, it is easy for the father to feel like he has become a visitor to his own children. BoydK. Packer, The Shield of Faith, Ensign, May 1995, 8. For a discussion of Nauvoo Polygamy, see Craig L. Foster, Review of Nauvoo polygamy: but we call it celestial marriage, Mormon Historical Studies 11/1 (Spring 2010), 15558. Polygamy in the Spotlight, e-mail correspondence, July 14, 2011. Nevertheless, with reactivation success, there will always be a need to teach adult members about the Churchs polygamous past. A couple of years ago, I was talking with one of my daughters 16-year-old friends, a descendant of LDS polygamists, and mentioned Joseph Smiths plural wives. A new take on the parable of the lost sheep may change how you see yourself in the church, How a perfect cherry cheese pie led to food-world fame, 6 temple dresses + accessories Latter-day Saint women will love, Other: 18% (This included: Anger, Apostasy, Sexual Abuse, Health [sick/disabled partner or child], Criminal Activity, In-Law Interference, and Homosexuality. I've also known several Bishopric Counselors who have been divorced. As one woman noted, speaking of her Latter-day Saint friends, [I had] great support from my friends, who were divorced as well.. (Photo courtesy of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) Apostle Ronald A. Rasband speaks at General Conference on Easter Sunday, April 4, 2021. 41. Keith L. Brown is a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. And when he was 15 years old, Elder Cook experienced something that would draw from both lessons. Rebecca Musser and M. Bridget Cook, The Witness Wore Red: The 19th Wife Who Brought Polygamous Cult Leaders to Justice (New York: Grand Central Publishing, 2013). It says: "Effective immediately, a man who has been previously sealed and later divorced, who desires to be married and sealed in the temple must first obtain a clearance from the First Presi-den-cy. There were approximately 400 people who participated in the survey with an almost even mix of men and women.32, In spite of the limited number of respondents, there actually was a good variety of people from different ages and backgrounds in terms of marriage status and activity in the LDS Church. There was not, unfortunately, a good representation of race and ethnicity: almost all of the respondents were Caucasian, with just a few identifying themselves as Hispanic or Asian/Pacific Islander.33 Respondents lived all over the United States as well as in Canada and several other countries. His mother remarried, but Elder Baxter's stepfather was "not a good man" and times were difficult(Elder David S. Baxter, "Finding Hope in a Troubled Family," August 2015 "New Era"). The Church and its defenders have begun to take steps to inoculate members against the insidious attacks of critics and enemies. This shaken feeling can leave a divorced man uncomfortable with Church attendance, especially if he believes that others are assuming he has been unfaithful to his wife. Yet continuing Church activity exposes us to correct principles and surrounds us with caring people. While there were a variety of ways people first learned about plural marriage, about 42% of respondents said they learned from their family.35. Divorce - Mormonism, The Mormon Church, Beliefs, & Religion Dianne Chryst Ormond, It Started with Science, MormonThink.com, 2006, accessed October 15, 2011, http://mormonthink.com/itstartedwithscience.htm. That is a significant number. No matter how hard the LDS Church may try to cut ties to its polygamous past, the two are irrevocably and inseparably tied to each other. Of course, the teachings should be simple and matter-of-fact information such as mentioning in passing that early Church leaders like Joseph Smith and Brigham Young, as well as other early members of the Church, were commanded by God to have more than one wife. He currently serves as the Ward Mission Leader of the Annapolis Maryland Ward. In my experience as a counselor, I found that, although much of what men and women experience in divorce is the same, there are some differences: While still married, men are more likely to minimize the seriousness of marital problems. Such shock at the prospect that Joseph Smith would have practiced plural marriage reminds me of an experience I had almost thirty years ago. Is that true? I thought he was joking. A whole lesson about Doctrine and Covenants 132 and not one mention of plural marriage? The survey on plural marriage was titled Your Feelings About Plural Marriage and was conducted at SurveyMonkey, located at https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/GQZSTGR between September 16 and October 20, 2011. Joseph Walker, Sarandon Calls Pope a Nazi, Maher Calls Mormonism Ridiculous, Deseret News, October 20, 2011, accessed October 21, 2011, https://www.deseret.com/2011/10/20/20224517/sarandon-calls-pope-a-nazi-maher-calls-mormonism-ridiculous. President Uchtdorf's family fled their home in Zwickau in East Germany to Frankfurtin West Germany. Steve Chapman, Kody Brown and His Four Wives, townhall.com, July 14, 2011, accessed July 14, 2011, http://townhall.com/columnists/stevechapman/2011/07/14/kody_brown_and_his_four_wives, and Brent Bozell, TLCs Lobbying Show, townhall.com, July 15, 2011, accessed July 15, 2011, http://townhall.com/columnists/brentbozell/2011/07/15/tlcs_lobbying_show/page/full/. Elder DallinH. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Divorce, Ensign, May 2007, 71. 56. The Lord still loves you and will Newell G. Bringhurst, Where Have All of Brigham Youngs Wives Gone? The two senior members of the Quorum of the Twelve were not general authorities when they became apostles. We as friends, neighbors, ward members, [ministerers], family, etc., should show Christs love. The following article originally ran on LDS Living in May 2016. 59. The top reason for a change in calling was relocation. When he was 12 years old, the missionaries began visiting Elder Baxter and his family, bringing a sense of goodness and peace into their home. I tried to understand that they just didn't know how to deal with a situation like this., Divorce may be more taboo for many, explains Dr. Swinton. Anti-Mormons are constantly pushing and picking at members faith in order to plant seeds of doubt and to destroy members testimonies. This non-Mormon perception of Latter-day Saints is more prevalent than many members of the Church realize. Members were stung by the presence of those who had chosen to continue plural marriage outside of the Churchs control.3 This constant reminder to both members and the outside world has embarrassed and bothered Church officials and members alike. English Find a Church. It is not my place to advise Church leaders on how to handle this problem and, therefore, these suggestions should be seen as suchsimple suggestions that might help.