You know, the douche who asks every cute girl out and thinks he's hot shit. You want to court her. Write your number on a piece of paper, have it ready when you go to the store. As the others have pointed out, you have got a bit of a captive audience and that needs to be respected. Thats sad. I know I can just walk up to her and be like "you're cute, wanna go out?" I once asked a girl to explain what she meant, when what she actually wanted to say would have been perfectly clear if we had been in a bar. If done in a non creepy way and they gracefully accepted my no, I would be flattered. What the worst that could happen from politely and not creepily seeing what happens next from this real world connection? Meeting someone at a party (or going to a movie, while were on the topic) are not especially good first dates when youre attempting to get to know someone better. This is how normal people meet, during the course of a normal day. Start off with a simple conversation, like asking how their day is going or making a comment on their work. But many parties are crowded and noisy and everyone is running about mingling. The checkout line isn't the place to have real conversations, let alone get your flirt on. This is NOTHING like the experience of attractive (or even unattractive) women I worked with. The way she did it was to grab another waitress and say hey, Id like to give my number to our waiter. Or, to put it more pithily, as this linked post full of citations says in its title, Mythcommunication: Its Not That They Dont Understand, They Just Dont Like The Answer At my local supermarket, some of the cashiers take smoke breaks near the public the entrance of the supermarket. We were both flattered though and it wasnt awkward. It was awkward, but I realize now that Im probably better off. Or she might clue you in on to where she might be outside of work. Make an effort to get to know your crush in a non-work context before asking him out. Who do I talk to about putting something on the store's bulletin board? I mean if I forgot something I wouldve just gone in and said, I forgot this and say my goodbyes again. And the employee has to assume you might be one of those jerks in choosing how to respond to you if she doesnt want to lose her tip or get a complaint. Next day I slipped my phone number on a piece of paper, didn't say a word and left. I mean, aside from the 95% factor, she may have a prior engagement that night, so her failure to appear is not even a rejection, and she doesn't want to worry about you feeling like it was. is it unprofessional to have hickeys at work? Maybe mention a place nearby that you frequent, like the coffe shop you visit before work or your gym or the bar you sometimes have happy hour with coworkers at. Dont forget to sit with a coin between your knees! So whats the best way to ask ehr out or get her number while shes working? He was also very cool when I turned him down and he kept coming into the store, albeit maybe a little less frequently, and chit-chatted like nothing had happened (except for my red face because my face is my own worst enemy). She said she knew me already and found it a little odd, but we always have a lot of eye contact and banter. Because at least some of us have gotten really, really scary reactions from men when we turned them down. Anyway, Ive taken to wearing a gold band on my ring finger to discourage that behavior, but men dont seem to notice. When I was in college, I had a crush on my bank teller because I was there fairly regularly and we always chitchatted and flirted. She has an easy escape: "Back to work, bye". Dont put him on the spot by forcing him to balance customer service with a romantic overture its unfair to him. Some people may have good intentions and be okay with a rejection, but there are a lot of men who arent and turn vicious if theyre ignored or rejected. If nothing else, it might be a good way to screen for fellow AAM readers. This will help reduce any anxiety and make it easier for you to get the words out when the time comes. I was on both sides of this in my misspent youth. OP think twice, thrice, four times before you do this. It feels like a lose-lose situation. I mean, she's a cute cashier, she probably gets hit on on the regular. Could be Im old-fashioned, but I think asking somebody out can be different than hitting on somebody. Well, hes not at all flirtacious and if he were I doubt that Id take him seriously. however, my friend (who works in retail) asked out a barista who she had a crush on. We dated for close to a year, and when it ended, it did not end well. Please dont. If she says "no", just say "no problem, thanks". phillist this is what immediately sprung to mind to me when I read this question. Secretarial positions suck for this, too for what Im sure are the same reasons. I wonder if anyone has ever gathered real data on this? The problem is that all the good intent in the world doesnt really change how the service person being put on the spot is going to react. is it time to put my employee on a formal improvement plan? I understand the situation, and if you really want to know her and you think the signs look good, then I suggest go for it. Theres also no way to guarantee itll go smoothly (he could say no, or you could go out and it could be disastrous), so if thats going to keep you from shopping there, youve got to decide which you want more: the possibility of a date with him or the certainty that you can continue comfortably going to that store. Yeptrue creeps are spreading it around as much as they can. Maybe you should stop by is perfect because simply not showing up is a lot easier than rejecting someone outright. If you're feeling insecure because of the people around think about how it can make her feel too, either she agrees or not it will also put some pressure on her so try to do it when there's no one around, and be prepared to leave either she agrees or not. How can I check the time on my smartphone without looking self-important? There is also the fact that their job hinges on them being nice to everyone- also a power issue. I would go so far as to say that if you, man, think an employee, woman, likes you, to think deeply about how good your judgement in this area typically is before you ask her out in said low-key, low-pressure way. They would try to dazzle me with charm, I would kindly redirect them to dazzle me with good work. Resin is a vital resource for Conan Exiles players wanting to expand their base and create unlocks. There's a strong bias against guys bothering random girls in shops with requests for dates (speaking from experience). Dont drop compliments and hit on her, asking how her day is doing is all you should do. Never accept a cashiers check thats written for more than the amount you asked for. The Craigslist Missed Connectios where I live seem to have a lot of men who want to connect with the women who cut their hair, probably because its a longer encounter and there is more chit chat. No I haven't idk if I want her getting wind of my intentions instead of it seeming spontaneous. And I love cheese but dont have any from Spain. Try to give them lots of room to reject your offer without feeling pressured to say yes. One great relationship made it all worth it! Bookstore or coffee shop or any number of other public places in which neither of them is at work doing his or her job at the time of the encounter. Worse the job requirements often entail being nice to customers, and definitely engaging customers and remaining at ones post. I did think your point about women being discouraged from asking men out was really interesting. 2. Site design / logo 2023 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under CC BY-SA. Greet Customers Arriving in a Store WebAnswer (1 of 16): No. I can see where youre coming from in general, and I apologize if Im misreading you on this, but I hated to see Aaron take the fall for all men because of word choice. Not a library, but Ive worked all over the food service and retail spectrum, including a major event stadium regularly serving 60,000 drunken bros in party mode, and the most I ever got hit on was the 6 months I worked at a Barnes and Noble. Conversation will help break the ice and show your interest. I've asked her out but she says shes not ready. Al Haitham Genshin is an accomplished actor, producer, and media personality from India. But we're still not clear of the problem of putting her on the spot. Let me apologize in advance for all the guys out there who do this. Cashier Interview Questions and Sample Answers | Indeed.com I am a 23 year old man and i want to ask a girl out that works in a clothes shop nearby where i live. Ok but, not so single you out Mia, but how is turning someone down politely not being nice to the customer? My female friend just started dating a waiter we met while out to eat. A woman, by her nature, is careful with whom she picks as her mate, biologically speaking, women carry a big responsibility for their off-spring. Its been over a YEAR since I had the nerve to try dating or asking anyone out and I had just decided its going to be this guy. I think youll only figure that out if you can talk to him outside of work. Cookie Notice Or include a 'Text me/Call me' in the note, and don't say anything at all (this might be more innocuous and have the same effect, since all the flirting up till now has been unspoken, you might want to carry that on). This is so uncomfortable to me. Here's where you'll go wrong, due to these butterflies, oh man -. OP here, Im female and not crazy :). WebHow To Ask A Cashier Out? How to reinitiate conversations online with stranger taking long to answer my mail. a very attractive girl working at Note that I am not recommending you ask her out, just suggesting a way of making it easier for her to say no without either of you losing face. He has been active in the world of showbusiness for, Press the Options/Menu button on your controller and select Quit Story Mission and then restart from the chapter selection screen. Canadian of Polish descent travel to Poland with Canadian passport. This x a million. Ill text you! and then not do it. Especially if whatever person I was talking to was clearly busy with something else. And what do you think about customers asking out your employees? That is, Cheese Guy was not an 18 year old cashier, he was the cheese manager for the chain. RT @ChristineBrejc1: Witnessing Joel and I were checking out at CVS, and our cashier happened to be a nonbinary young female wearing a giant Baphomet Charm on her I do know that she had been coming in once or twice a week for months before anyone made a move, and I know they had been chatting a lot more than your average employee and customer would chat (to the point that I wonder how he wasnt reprimanded for not doing his work). How are engines numbered on Starship and Super Heavy? It was a required part of my job. If the cashier is interested in going out, its best to take things slow and get to know each other better before making any big decisions. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. The ball is in her field as of now and she'll be the one to decide if she wants to play. This is extra worse when youre a captive audience who cant get away from them at work, and its why a lot of us would recommend not asking at all or proceeding with extreme caution. I suggest you consider the following: Is she especially nice to you, or is that her normal behavior with many customers? As it happens, safe is the first one. An example could be, Hey so this is going to be super weird. I'm aware that Germans are renowned for being very direct people, though, so it could be the right move to do after all. First, make sure that you are respectful and courteous when asking for Try going into the store when it's not as busy. I think people should recognize the difference between hitting on someone (e.g. If "no" seems like it would damage, hurt or invalidate you, get to healthcare and work that out. Make yourself stupid by doing something (without lowering your integrity). Also, don't bring it up again, EVER. I work at Barnes and Noble, and I am shocked at how often I get hit on/asked out. Do NOT make any comments about their physical appearance, that will make it weird forever. Copyright 2007 - 2023 Ask A Manager. Simple things. Or care. I told him I was bartending that night and that he should come visit me, and I gave him my number. I'd say just letting her know you exist, more than simply being a stranger is enough for now. Its this: Be very well dressed and be well groomed. Or if you buy a bottle of wine, you can ask her about it. But, I got hit on so frequently, I would have loved to stop it. But I dont think that means that they shouldnt do it. The cashier probably wouldnt know how to find him if he just stopped showing up. Boy do I have horror stories. You might even ask them to simply repeat what they said. should I ask out an employee at a store where I shop? Not discussions on the state of dating or generalized situations. her safety and comfort was maintained by having someone she knew and was familiar with approach her discretely. Yes, this. When I worked retail, a man who grabbed me from behind when I was alone in the store and I told him to get his hands off me. How to ask a store clerk to leave you alone without being rude? As a former retail manager I am ok with my employees going on dates with customers as long as the customer is the one who did the asking. If you think hes interested, write your phone/text number down and as youre leaving, talk with him a bit, smile, give your number to him and say if you ever want to talk outside of work, call me or text me then leave. my lying coworker claimed someone said I couldnt eat at my desk, telling recruiters I wont move to states that discriminate, AirTag etiquette, and more. For instance - southern Europe here - to me it's perfectly acceptable to engage in small talk with the cashier. Most importantly, if you see that she doesn't want to engage in a conversation with you, do not insist. Oh, my bleeding eyes. Im assuming that some places have policies about this sort of thing but have no idea about the policies at this store. However, with a bit of forethought and confidence, you can make it happen in no time. That sounds very reasonable to me. If you call someone up out of the blue and she never even talked to you she wont know if you are some complete psychopath and will be very concerned that someone is watching her without her being aware of it. ask It's usually pretty busy when I see her there so I both a) don't want to hold shit up trying to chat, And b) don't want to be "that guy" especially in front of a bunch of people. How To Ask A Cashier Out? - Criminal Defense Lawyer Hollywood er, to clarify, where tipping is the majority of the income. And for what its worth, having been a barista and worked at Target, there really wasnt any appreciable difference between being asked out and being hit on. I worked retail all through college and I never really had anyone ask me out (apparently Im the exception based on these comments?) If she did say "no" or not respond, after that interaction as you continue to go to the market, just behave casually as you normally would and if you go through her line be polite and friendly but with no expectations. I like the low pressure approach. How to ask cashier out for date - Interpersonal Skills Stack Female Cashier If the girl laughs, half the work is done. I have never asked an employee out or hit on a woman working before, and for some reason I think this woman is special, even though I dont know intimate details about her life and vice versa. WebYour a cashier right? Right, this proscription would mean nobody in college would ever go to a party. I think OP should probably take advice from local friends and ask what's expected there. (Funny I mentally blocked that). An intelligent woman shouldnt have a problem meeting a prescreened stranger in a public place without having to take friends a family on the date. I think Aaron indicated clearly that being flattered is tied specifically to an appropriate non-creepy invitation; he didnt suggest that any type of behavior is flattering as long as theres romantic interest. Privacy Policy. Since cashiers handle cash and cards, they must have a high level of Again, only partake this if it genuinely is by chance. "I don't know and I don't care" or if she answers something like: "I love those cookies, I wish someone would invite me to eat them.". Hes rung me up (cash register, not phone) multiple times and weve done the usual chitchat, and when Im at his store he very obviously stares at me and often pops up in the areas that Im shopping in. Because to answer the question, there are plenty of opportunities to meet people in the real world that dont rely on one person having to be nice to the other for the sake of their job. The worst that could happen to whom? Im married, so I definitely wasnt going to ask out the cute liquor store employee who likes the same kind of beer I like anyway. It beats the risk of getting a What, am I not good/rich/tall/whatever enough for you, you bitch? response. No real point to this expect to share that I have now been enlightened :). tru dat mirth!!.. (gives performance flyer). All rights reserved. And thanks for the suggestion for a no-pressure meet-up, thats a super idea! No one is saying that you cant meet people in public places or even workplaces. But if he were really, really interested in the girl, might he not go to those places hoping to run into her? Is part of the joke that theyre attempting to steal the line from John Carpenters movie _They Live_? Wrong. Because of that, it can be easy to mistakenly misinterpret them doing their job (being nice to you) as social/romantic interest. Asking her 10 times more won't bring a better result. How would you guys ask someone out at their work? Make sure you aren't unconsciously seeking self-validation of some kind. For example: "I like to grab lunch here before going to [Public Event You Enjoy]". You rarely get a sense of whether someones interesting when theyre being polite or friendly due to the nature of their job. So it didnt seem as creepy as when patrons would say you have a really beautiful smile. Which I do, but dont want to hear from a stranger. Result: He emailed me that night, and we struck up a friendship, but never dated. And as long as you are willing to hear them say no (and you are not a crazy person) then there is not a lot to lose. Later, on hearing about it, my nasty coworker who was a demoted ex-manager told me that I shouldnt have been rude to a customer. So I can definitely imagine a manager who would expect someone in a customer service position to say yes to keep the customer. For more information, please see our When on a date with the cashier, maintaining good posture with respect and honesty is key in having successful elevations in your relationship. just ask her if she would be interested in going to lunch with you i'm sure she would be flattered!!. Surely there is someone out there like me, who is genuine and can take a no.? Thanks for sharing your positive experience! That was hilarious. She went to Spain on vacation, bought a bunch of cheese, and casually mentioned it to him one day, saying, It might be fun for you to come over and try some of it with me.. After you have built a basic connection with her, you can leave a brief note (with a smiley probably) as others have suggested. Thats exactly how Id do it. 8 Tips to Pickup Cute Cashier Girls in Stores and Restaurants I would not go to a private residence alone if I hadnt hung out with someone before. He is the only person who ever scored my real phone number, and I wasnt a bit sorry. If she is interested, she might ask you. What does it mean when the girl changes her number after bre My ex gf stood me up. WebAnswer (1 of 7): At the Drive thru window, this happened to me many a time & the one luxury I suppose was that they could just speed off in their car afterwards (or I could shut the window). (Not that youre Lisa, OP, just that its a humorous musical way of showing how two folks interpreted the same interaction!). We were students and had a few regulars known to follow us around the stacks while were working (one would mutter under his breath the whole time, we thought it mightve been poetry ugh). My band is playing at the Speakeasy Thursday night and it'll be our first performance all year. This might be a Western European city, or an 'East' German village, who knows. Only ask the gent out during his break or free time. And Says shes tired? That person is required be there and is required to be attentive/kind to you and to every other customer. I was actually a little traumatized by Alisons advice (although I do really appreciate that she replied and has provided a forum for others to respond) and the first couple of comments (this was much earlier today-I was shocked to see all of the responses that are here now and have just started going through them), so I stopped by a female friends shop today to ask her advice. Be sincere and respectful in your approach as this will leave a good impression on them and make them more likely to accept your invitation. Its like when people say that women who are catcalled should feel flattered and that theyd personally feel soooo flattered if they had strangers harassing them on the street. I worked both large city and small town shops. Keep a close eye on who listens intently to what youre saying, and who just wants to hear themselves talk. I worked retail throughout high school and college. Its probably also one of those things where its socially more acceptable for a lady to do it than a gentleman. Or some other thing where you set out an opportunity to see you, an easy one, and see if he takes it. Studies show that men are not actually able, on average, to pick up on disinterest, if theyre interested in the person. or "Did you enjoy it" or even worse, "Where were you?". young and youngish women in customer-service jobs are frequently dealing with a more-0r-less daily barrage of men who interpret smiled at me and was polite as wants me . That fact can confuse the romantic, so special handling is required. However, I would go about this very, very carefully and only do it if you are more than reasonably sure that he feels the same way. Hi, OP here. Point is, right now they don't, and men "doing our usual" isn't going to move the needle. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Although, if i were you, i would have used that line (but that's me). Too bad The IT Crowd is off the air, I could totally see them doing a show like this one. Um nope and nope. I think the difference was that while he complimented me plenty, it was never about my appearance or anything physical. I generally agree that it is usually best not to ask people out at work. I thought that died out years ago. I dont what it is about retailperhaps the forced friendliness-but it just seems like everyone thinks were dying for dates and I would get asked out constantly. -- until you get the message, and she's not gonna like it (see Tinkeringbell's answer for examples). We looked into each others' eyes for about two weeks. Frankly, lots of social interactions make me feel a little weird or uncomfortable, but theyre totally normal and acceptable interactions nonetheless, and I dont think my discomfort always reflects negatively on the people doing the initiating. As a man whos been asked out 4 times by clients, I say go for it! When I was a cashier, someone gave me their phone number. Or cheese fries because my friend bailed. It seems pointless to overthink when the answer is either yes or no. And in the body of the post This is what fantasies are made of; the pizza guy and the sexy woman. Its be a nice pick me up for the day. This, in turn, is affected by how you look, how you smell, what you say, but for basic sexual pleasure - looks are everything. Whatever you decide, I wish you luck. This is exactly what I was coming here to post. I came of age during a time where it was new and shocking for women to take planes, trains and automobiles on their own. A lot of males who work in retail treat their job like the Bachelor and its extremely frowned on. I tried to give it an international flavor (ie, here it's generally OK to make smalltalk or jokes if time allows, but that's not the same as asking her out).