", "I'm pretty sick of church people. But a comedian has the ability to use their anger and intelligence to refocus and reconstruct their pain into entertainment. You wouldn't say I'm proud to be 5'11"; I'm proud to have a pre-disposition for colon cancer., "Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see.We are the proud parents of a child who has resisted his teachers' attempts to break his spirit and bend him to the will of his corporate masters. Praise for George Carlin's social and political criticisms and his contributions to a I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. He was a true originala brash, intelligent, eloquent voice that cut to the quick. They want it back, so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street. He was one of the first to know it was all bullshit propagated by government and corporate elites. We think in language. quotes Do these people honestly think that God is sitting around picking out his favorites? When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. ', 'The planet is fine. For a man disappointed in all of humanity not sure he wanted to be claimed by either side. The new kid in a high school with a thousand other teenagers. Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. If youre born in America you get a front row seat. Rough, tough, and hard to bluff." Never argue with an idiot. He was an outspoken, acerbic social critic, and what came out of his mouthcould be shocking or even sometimes vulgar, but often his railings against injustice or stupidity or corruption shone a light on some dark areas as he said things that others would or could not say. Who would've ever thought radical feminists would team up with religious zealots to usher in a new wave of censorship and control?Oh, if Carlin was still alive today. Something is definitely wrong. ABC News: LGBTQ+ lawmakers finding themselves fighting literally just to exist, Antony Blinken too busy to say if he accepts that Hunter Bidens laptop was not disinformation, Heres the Montana state rep whod rather her daughter commit suicide than transition, Super Mario Bros movie illegally streamed on Twitter, US military tracking another mysterious balloon, NYC Mayor Eric Adams says Tex. 115. George Carlin Quotes 110. Now I feel better. ~ (George Carlin). Everybody says they suck. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. His comedy and social critique will live on through the ages. 64. Ioanna Zafeiriou 21. You enjoy yourselves. Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. ~ (George Carlin). Hes not a cheese. 50. They're not pro-life. How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? ~ (George Carlin). 31. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. 91. Im sure as soon as the election is over, your country will improve immediately. Web421 quotes from George Carlin: 'The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. 51. This is the kind of shit youd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. Our carefully collected [], Mary Astell (12 November 1666 11 May 1731), considered the first English Feminist, is a philosopher that has been [], Rappers are known for their high self-confidence. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Both the Left and the Right have been known to use his insights to demonstrate their own points. However, most of his bile was reserved for conservatives and Republicans. ", "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. They don't like him because the media and the academic elite have brainwashed them to the point where they cannot think beyond liberal orthodoxy.Carlin remarked that it was a terrible shame that liberals were leading the war against free speech. No, you don't see them adopting a whole lot of crack babies, do you? Gov Greg Abbott is using the border crisis to hurt Black-run, Media Matters bombshell: Tucker Carlson caught slamming streaming service Fox Nation, Donald Trump to participate in a CNN presidential town hall next week, Hillary Clinton shares a graph to slam Trump on natl debt & gets help finishing it, See if you can figure out what President Joe Biden is doing in this clip, Charles Payne spots yet another reason to ban congressional stock trading ASAP, NBC News Ben Collins is sick and tired of editorial boards not talking to actual reporters like, CNN asks why SO many of us are unhappy with the country and THIS is why we cant have nice things, Group that went to bat for UVA hate crime hoaxer rages at right-wing media for telling the, Here's the Montana state rep who'd rather her daughter commit suicide than transition, ABC News: LGBTQ+ lawmakers finding themselves fighting literally just 'to exist', Antony Blinken too busy to say if he accepts that Hunter Biden's laptop was not disinformation, California Do Not Sell My Personal Information, George Carlin wouldnt even want to be claimed as your partisan hero and if that offends you his legacy lives on. 76. Teach them to question what they read. You have no choice. This is the best we can do folks. Apparently, we're not ready for that., "The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done. If you enjoyed these quotes, you may also like "26 Voltaire Quotes Everyone Should Read Today", by Libertarian Country 19. Simple as it gets, anti-womanthey don't like them. The real owners, the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions.And, now, they're coming for your Social Security. Lee did not involve himself formally in politics, but he was a symbol of diversity and the synthesis of "East" and "West." Carlin proved that mixing comedy with thought-provoking ideas is perhaps the only way to get people to listen. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. 135 Notable Oscar Wilde Quotes on Writing and Life, 105 Frederick Douglass Quotes on Progress & Freedom, 55 William Golding Quotes from Author of Lord of the Flies, 67 Salvador Dali Quotes From The Surreal Spanish Artist, 45 Tee Grizzley Quotes from the American Rapper, 32 Jean Toomer Quotes from American Poet & Novelist. If he were working today theyd call him a right-wing conspiracy theorist. Political correctness is fascism pretending to be manners. People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. ~ (George Carlin). Webwelcome to another episode of George Carlin quotes what George Carlin Quotes, What I Think About Politics. It will be a lot of fun. Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist. No contest. And fight songs. For Exclusive Deals, New Product Alerts, Free Articles, Libertarian News & More! Its interested in its own power. Something is wrong here. 70+ George Carlin Quotes About the Crazy World We Live in 77. When I ask how old your toddler is, I dont need to hear 27 months. Hes two will do just fine. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. ~ (George Carlin). Carlin passed away in 2008 of heart failure.With his sparkling intellect and caustic humour, George Carlin derided and criticized political, religious, cultural and taboo subjects. Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? 52. Somebodys wasting their fucking time. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away. 2. Now it's the zombie liberal.They say politics makes strange bedfellows--because today, the first amendment is under attack from people on the right and the left. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. ~ (George Carlin). I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. They [Catholic teachers] would fall back on, Well, its a mystery.[2]. When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? ~ (George Carlin). There are no innocent human beings. ~ (George Carlin). 102. Tax them. As he quite rightly points out, there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. Read these short quotes by the renowned comedian to make you smile while seeing things from a different perspective. "Everybody's been mad at me, cause I haven't been on the f**king, y'know, the gravy train of these candidates, especially Joe Biden and Harris. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. He also suggests that politicians are merely the puppets bringing big businesses plans and ideas to fruition. ", If you can't beat them, arrange to havethem beaten., Laugh often, long, and loud. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Teach them to question everything. 3. 83. Follow the link for the full transcript, its worth it, but here are a few choice excerpts: When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. Tell people theres an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. 111. Everyone experiences pain, of course. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. ", "Catholics and other Christians are against abortions and they're against homosexuality. Weather forecast for tonight: dark. And probably increase. ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin was posthumously awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, after he passed away that year at the age of 71. As for me, Ill be home on that day, doing essentially the same thing as you, the only difference is, when I get finished masturbating, Im going to have a little something to show for it folks. My mother would say, Why are you always playing alone? And I would say, Im not playin, Ma. They will only bring you down to their level and beat So I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way: on election-day, I-STAY-HOME. Lean and mean! Carlin took a liberal stance on most things, but generally found politics and politicians corrupt and ridiculous. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. George Carlin Quotes On Pride, American Dream 105. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Its what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people's language with strict codes and rigid rules. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. Maybe something else sucks around here like: THE PUBLIC. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. ~ (George Carlin). Last Updated: 29th April, 2023 14:09 IST International Dance Day 2023: WhatsApp Messages, Wishes, Greetings, Quotes To Share Celebrate International Dance Day 2023 on April 29 by sending WhatsApp messages, wishes, greetings and quotes to those whose passion is dancing. I took his shoes. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. If you love someone, set them free. They'll do anything they can to save a fetus, but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it? 36. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin Quotes Pro-lifethese people aren't pro-life, they're killing doctors! I just dont have as many people who believe it. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. Here, we bring you 27 of the best George Carlin quotes of all time. Here is a selection of Carlins quotes that criticize the political system of our days. I have lots of ideas. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose., "Life is not that complicated. Why isn't selling fucking legal?". I just dont have as many people who believe it. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of I love individuals. 9. 106. Tweet. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? They come from American parents, and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities. He also suggests that politicians are merely the puppets bringing big businesses plans and ideas to fruition. In America, anyone can become president. George Carlin was a stand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. Though some of these people have always been fans, his social commentary and political criticisms have found new meaning--and a new home--among the right.Though the right-wing and left-wing have "claimed" George Carlin as one of their own heroes, his allegiance was always to himself (another great libertarian tenet), and wasn't going to shill for anyone.If Carlin was ever a hero, it was always for the individual, the rebel, the outcast. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. ~ (George Carlin). He joked about it but he was dead serious. Now theres one thing you might have noticed i dont complain about: politicians. [3], Carlin was equally hard on politics as he was on religion. 85. Could it be everyone? The poor are therejust to scare the shit out of the middle class. 79. Continue with Recommended Cookies. What if I want to have a crappy day? ~ (George Carlin). I think that speaks for itself. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote WebThis video presents the 30 best quotes from the legendary comedian George Carlin. Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. I respect animals. Why is it called tourist season if we cant shoot at them? ~ (George Carlin). Powered by Shopify. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. Carlins incisive approach and meaningful insight was thought provoking, providing a framework for introspection, prompting us to think out of the box and to challenge ourselves and our belief systems.Here we have collected for you the most inspirational and insightful quotes of this provocative and counterculture comedian to share with loved ones in order to brighten their day and make them smile, but also to enhance your views about the world we live in and make you see things from a different perspective for a better life! The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. "Because Carlin brutally bashed political correctness and used vulgar language--some of which is considered taboo today--many neo-puritan progressives have abandoned him and completely dismissed his brilliant works.It's a tragedy that he was relegated to an unworthy status by so many on the left, considering how deeply sympathetic he was to marginalized groups who have suffered oppression, abuse and mistreatment. I dont have to tell you it goes without saying there are some things better left unsaid. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Instead of division let's have a laugh about what we share in common. The people are f***ed. Theres no present. In this George Carlin quote, Carlin was talking about the saying there is no I in team. Hes pretty clearly flipping off the left and the right. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Laugh often, long and loud. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. He was a spiritual atheist as an adult. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. I call him Governor Bush because thats the only political office hes ever held legally in this country. They don't like women. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? They're anti-woman. 123 Witty George Carlin Quotes on Life and Politics Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? ~ (George Carlin). They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. ", "If you scratch a cynic, you'll find a disappointed idealist. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. He is mostly non-political except for his involvement with the environmental organization, Greenpeace. 30 Best George Carlin Quotes The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. The planet is fine. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. "I have certain rules I live by. Thats the problem." 95. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. Theres no present. 27 George Carlin Quotes For Freethinkers and Rebels by Libertarian Country. I have as much authority as the Pope. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Teach them to question everything. Report 48 points POST Looking at you religion. 2. Fuck hope. Though he was obviously against Republicans and evangelic conservatism, he also had a penchant for beating up liberal Democrats. Keep 'em showing up at those 'jobs. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. George Carlin. Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.